Etiquette = Doormat

A woman was pulling her luggage carrier up the steps behind her.  A man came up and took it from her and carried it up the stairs, without giving her a chance to respond to him.  He then demanded money.  She grabbed her carrier back and responded ‘how dare you’.  The man then informed her that he was just joking and that she was obviously a moron.

And there are people out there that say SHE owes HIM an apology.  After all, he was just doing a good deed and being chivalrous.

So, let’s look at the situation, okay?

A man sees a woman carrying something.  He assumes the task is too difficult for her. He takes over the task by invading her personal space and taking her personal belongings out of her hands, without first ensuring he had her permission and consent.  He did this in complete ignorance of what was in the personal belongings and what special handling might be required or the consequences that might arise from their breakage.  He then demanded money.  When her response was somewhat less than gushing, he made an accusation towards her and further insulted her.

And among the first responses when she related the story?  “Did you apologize to him?  It sounds like he was doing a very nice thing and it must have been pretty shocking to get yelled at after a joke like that.”

A gentleman waits for consent. This man did not.  Obviously then, he is not a gentleman.  So, what is he? The evidence we have of this man so far is that he sees fit to invade a woman’s personal space and take her belongings from her, then demand money for this ‘service’.  And that he does the usual gaslighting backtrack of ‘I was just joking’.

Exactly what evidence do we have that this man is ‘nice’?  Well, um…  he has a penis?

One woman talked about how she intended to raise her son to be like this man.  Another person suggested that perhaps she should teach her son to ask first.  The first woman got offended at being offered this ‘unsolicited advice’.  And in a flood of awesome, the second woman responded:

“It is ironic that you are bothered about what you thought to be unsolicited advice, all while repeatedly saying _____ over-reacted to unsolicited “help”.  Again, I’m very aware that what we write here is seen by hundreds of people, my comment was *truly* not directed at you, but as a general academic comment.  We were even engaged in conversation rather than complete strangers with no prior interaction, yet it still clearly (very and understandably) ruffled you to think someone was trying to “help” you without your request or acquiescence.  And unsolicited advice isn’t even a physical interaction.  Yet indeed it is generally offensive in the same way that many of us find what the man did to ____ to be offensive.”

On occasion, a small modicum of my faith in humanity is restored.

Oh, and those criticizing the man’s behavior are accused of ‘man-bashing’.  Take a swig!

© 2011, Within this mind. All rights reserved.

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About Kinda Strange

I am a student at the University of Phoenix majoring in information technology. This is where I come to babble incoherently…err…make notes, talk about things that catch my interest, share ideas, etc...
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One Response to Etiquette = Doormat

  1. CaseyNo Gravatar says:


    There’s been FAR too many times where I go on the off-topic board of a forum I’ve frequented for years, where I consider most of the posters to be like friends, and find WAY TOO MANY “Is Chivalry Dead?”-style posts of men behaving almost as blatantly douche-baggy in manner as THIS GUY and they wonder why the woman wasn’t flattered/grateful/begging to blow him…I was never able to articulate why these guys were being douches, but you and your word-type things here are awsum. :3